A Christmas Story Christmas [2022]
“Don’t let them kick you in the face!”
1983’s A Christmas Story might just be one of the greatest American-made Christmas films of all time. Made in the 80’s, with the air of the 40’s, and somehow still funny in the 2020’s; you’d be hard pressed to find someone who’s never said [jokingly or otherwise] “You’ll shoot your eye out!”, “fragile” as though it “must be Italian”, or called something hideous and obtuse a “major award”. It’s truly difficult to think of a single scene from the original film that doesn’t hold something deeply iconic and memorable… And that’s what makes the January 2022 announcement of a sequel to this ubiquitous, timeless, and beloved classic so strange.
A Christmas Story Christmas hit streaming platforms in November of this year, receiving what I’d call “mixed-to-nostalgic” scores from various aggregates… And it’s certainly an interesting ride; one that I’m not entirely sure anyone needed, wanted, asked for, or expected. That being said though… It’s far from bad, and is hardly a waste of time if you’re a fan of the original.
Following the death of his father, Ralphie brings his family back to his childhood home to spend the holiday with his mother. While, unfortunately, we do not get a returning Melinda Dillon in the iconic role, Julie Hagerty does more than a fair job of the aloof-and-a-little-crazy grandmother. During his time home, Ralphie is tasked with writing his father’s obituary while also trying to recreate the Christmas magic “The Old Man” was so adept at. We meet old faces, ameliorate old wounds, and… Find out everyone is an alcoholic for some reason along the way?
Wait a minute…
This is one of the main issues with Christmas – yes the holiday in general, welcome to the real War on Christmas. [No, not really, just Christmas as in “the shortened title of this film”… Sheesh. ANYWAY…] There’s a running gag in the movie where grandma has become something of a lush, Ralphie’s wife drinks with some alacrity as well, Flick now owns the local bar where they tell callers that whoever they’re looking for isn’t in so they can… keep drinking, and Schwartz orders round after round while racking up the largest tab in the place. It’s a very strange [and decidedly not funny] bit, and I’m not sure what the narrative purpose of it is regardless of if you think it’s good for a laugh or not.
This concept of not-so-funny ideas is somewhat pervasive throughout the entire film and also what makes the interesting plot it could have had, all the more obvious and relevant. When Christmas is at its best, it’s shamelessly stealing from the original film as a sort of tribute to the thing that made us tune-in at all. Silly circle fades, sped up takes, recurring characters and actions, and even revived pieces of the score litter the film as little call-backs to the thing we all fell in love with before. It’s these moments that make the film worth watching, because it’s these moments that culminate into the two or three real hits of the entire thing.
And those two or three pieces do hit hard.
It’s a shame the connective tissue of A Christmas Story Christmas feels like something made-for-TV, rather than a proper film, though the pacing isn’t so bad as to ruin the whole meal... It just doesn't have much soul. And, while there’s a better story to be told hidden deep within what I can only assume is an unwritten version of the script, the journey of A Christmas Story Christmas as presented is still interesting enough to make you laugh, bring a couple of tears, and make you say “Aw, that was sweet” as the credits role.
While this film is entirely nostalgia bait, not every hook is one to be avoided. If you didn’t like the original, never speak to me or my son ever again [Yes, this means you]. If you just thought the original was “ok”, this certainly isn’t going to be what you might call “inspiring”. But, if you think a football is a lousy Christmas present, have daydreams of saving your family from back-yard-bandits, or remember the fear of suffering from soap-poisoning; pop this one on.
“I triple dog dare you!”
