"Strong enough to have it all... but too weak to take it!"

<Minor spoilers ahead>

Spider-Man: No Way Home is the perfect example of great script writing and directing, muddied by a terrible story with nonsensical plot points. Before we get too far into this, I do think it's important to say that my low score does not reflect my enjoyment of this as a fast-food consumable piece, nor do I think it will reflect your enjoyment if you’ve liked even a single other one of these shiny-wrapper experiences. I thought this was a fun ode and adept crossover, but also that it perfectly exemplifies the childish and idiotic storytelling that Disney gets away with more and more.

No Way Home centers around Peter Parker’s identity going public and the aftermath of those events… for ~15 of the ~140 minutes in the film, anyway. In light of that, he seeks help from a certain medical wizard and shenanigans ensue. The problem with these shenanigans is that they exist solely for the sake of this movie. In order for the plot to continue forward from this point at all, characters have to consistently make decisions that don’t work within the bounds of who they are or the decision making processes that we’ve seen them utilize in the past. “Convenient” or even worse “strange” is the only way to boil down each plot point of the film without getting too far into it and turning this into an essay.

While the story writing is worse here than in most other Marvel movies, if you didn’t mind the silly nonsense in any of those, you won’t mind it here either.

Getting away from my issues with the storytelling; No Way Home is an uneven mess of visual effects, predictably forgettable score, and perfectly Marvel-esque lack of cinematography. Whoever did the lighting for the film should be fired and banned from film forever. Towards the end we get some excellent shots, but those are mostly stolen from Into the Spiderverse, so don’t really count. The VFX range from absolutely stunning while we’re in the Mirror Dimension and for some of the villains’ moving bits to positively atrocious during the opening sequence, most of Spidey’s techno suit, and our time on the Statue of Liberty. I’d talk more about the score if there was even one to talk about further.

I do want to be positive about the good aspects of this, because there certainly were some and they were certainly great.

As far as crossovers go, there has never been one better. Gathering up all the old actors and getting the gang back together has never felt more fitting or natural. I absolutely loved seeing everyone on screen together and their chemistry was truly excellent. Both villains and heroes showed up to crush their performances and the script was written to both satisfy audiences of all three Spidermen and the culture [memes] that have grown up around them. From “I’m something of a scientist myself,” to “You’re amazing,” and the recreation of everyone’s favorite pointing Spiderman meme; No Way Home absolutely slays the multiverse inclusion.

Unfortunately, if you look at the film any closer than pure meme-stalgia, there just isn’t much to it. But, man is that meme-stalgia strong.

All in all, I think that Spider-Man: No Way Home is more of the same glossy candy that Disney continues to feed the masses for the ever important dollar. The story is bad, the technical aspects of the film are subpar at best, and I think there were a couple of opportunities missed to really allow this film to be a true ode to the legacies we create and the shoulders we’ve stood upon to become the icons we are.

Without Toby Maguire, Willem Dafoe, Alfred Molina, and the other early comic book actors [Hugh Jackman and co. in X-Men most notably] that made comic book movies cool, exciting, and successful, we wouldn’t have gotten Andrew Garfield or Tom Holland, among others. While the film does a decent job of nodding towards early contributions, I would have liked to see a meta recognition of it after the mission was over. Something as simple as Tom saying, “I couldn’t have done it without you,” to the two other Spidermen would have been a great moment of acknowledgement to those who came before.

While there are some genuinely touching and meaningful moments, No Way Home should have planned its route a little better before walking out the door.

"With great power, comes great responsibility."