Jan 13 - 19 2025
Vampires vs. the Bronx, Monster House, Red Rooms, Magical Girl, The Starling Girl, Death and the Maiden, House
- Vampires vs. the Bronx [2020] - 71
I caught a bug recently that’s made me want to investigate the world of young-adult horror and find the best of the best therein. It’s an interesting genre that pertains to an age-range which is difficult to engage while remaining in some pretty fluid bounds of what is and isn’t “appropriate”. Thus, we’ve stumbled into Oz Rodriguez’ Vampires vs. the Bronx; a tale of gentrification at the hands of the undead [which is what the film’s subtitle should have been]. This was… good enough for what it was, but not exactly the “Pixar of horror” that I’m looking for. Vampires is fun and cheeky with a few moments of genuinely heavy laughs as well as a couple “ah *waggles finger at the screen” clever moments, but it just sort of ~e x i s t s~ at the end of the day. Something kids will definitely like, but not much to take away in terms of serious substance, Vampires vs. the Bronx won’t waste your time, it just also won’t make it into your diary.
- Monster House [2006] - 58
Another attempt at finding the golden goose of teeny-bopper horror, Monster House has some strong presentation and great ideas… but is ultimately taken to task by sloppy execution, bad jokes, and inappropriate ogling of female characters. Within the rundown walls of this now 20-year old animated memory are well articulated themes of grief, loss, and guilt, but they’re too often shoved out of the way for half-baked comedy, old-world gender expressions, and a world that feels empty and unbelievable. This is one that had been on my list for a long while for other reasons, and I wish I had more positives to take away but, turns out, Monster House both will not be making it onto my “Y/A Horror” list or anywhere else relating to recommendations.
- Red Rooms [2023] - 93
An instant and very early runner for 2025’s “Top 20”, Pascal Plante’s French-Canadian mystery/ thriller, Red Rooms, is a difficult recommendation in terms of general “enjoyment”, but an incredible piece of artistic expression, a remarkably intelligent submission into the modern psychological thriller genre, and a piece that’s stuck with me — nagging me to dissect it further — since watching it. Certainly not a film for everyone, Red Rooms is a brilliant take on the modern true-crime obsessed vigilante and one that I hope gets more visibility and traction with its recent drop onto the Shudder streaming service. If you like crime-thrillers, slow burns, or just want to be really [really] uncomfortable for a little bit, I simply cannot recommend 2023’s Red Rooms strongly enough.
- Magical Girl [2014] - 84
Carlos Vermut’s 2014 drama, Magical Girl, begins as a familiar story of a sick child and ends as anything but. This is a movie that’s difficult to recommend, because it’s both odd and intense, but also one that fans of unique tales should throw on. I don’t think this is bound to be anyone’s favorite movie, but it’s certain to be one that fronts lists of “under appreciated dramas” or “alternate takes on tired tropes”. While I wouldn’t call this film “graceful” in how it tackles its subject, that also isn’t its intent, and the way it combines movies like Babyteeth and Crash is certainly interesting and well done. Eschewing the typical tenderness we’re used to seeing in “kid with cancer” stories, Magical Girl instead gives us bad behavior, a slew of unintended consequences, and ultimately leaves us with a very compelling “feel bad” experience that is somehow both unsettling and very much worth your time.
- The Starling Girl [2023] - 86
A troubling and somewhat difficult coming-of-age drama by debut director Laurel Parmet, The Starling Girl tells the tale of Jem Starling, the eldest daughter of a [mostly] devout fundamentalist Christian family. Through the suffocation of her community’s beliefs, her father’s struggles with addiction, and the return of certain pastor’s eldest son, Jem finds that growing up isn’t quite as simple or straightforward as her various community leaders would have her believe. The Starling Girl manages to balance several themes and difficult issues well while clearly communicating exactly what it intends through its characters and environments. Perhaps a touch longer than it needed to be, Laurel Parmet has still come out of the gate swinging hard and I very much look forward to whatever she does next.
- Death and the Maiden [1994] - 73
Brought to my attention because of how much I liked Red Rooms, Roman Polanski’s Death and the Maiden is one of those films I wish I’d been able to see when it was new. While it has plenty of interesting elements and good performances, it’s a 90’s film that feels like a 90’s film, rather than a timeless drama-mystery. There’s nothing wrong with the film perse, it’s just a little slow, a little empty, and a little too cut and dry by the end. I’m sure this was a revelatory take on the genre at the time but, 30-years later, it’s just kind of dry.
- House [1977] - -
Nobuhiko Ôbayashi’s House is a strange beast… to put it flatly. “Strange” not only literally — with characters like “Kung Fu”, “Gorgeous”, and “Fantasy”, who’s personalities match [and never exceed] whatever wacky name they’re given — but also in the sense that its entirely incomprehensible editing, buck-wild storytelling, and turbo-cornball performances actually tell a somewhat interesting story. While I certainly wouldn’t call House “good” in most any way, I can say that I wasn’t bored at any point. Confused as all hell… but not bored. Like two of my other favorite captain-insane-O 70’s productions, Zardoz and The Holy Mountain [which would also be an incredible film title], House is a funky spectacle, and should be viewed as such. Though it does cut a more [however slightly] compelling/ coherent plot silhouette than other films of its ilk, I still can’ quite decide if this 1977 ghost-trip is best enjoyed on or off the drugs that almost certainly created it.
